Thursday, January 15, 2009 - Day 70

Quote of the Day: Actions lie louder than words. – Carolyn Wells

Breakfast – breakfast burrito

I know it isn’t what I should be eating BUT I needed something really fast today. I couldn’t think of anything better. It was egg, cheese and a flour tort.

Lunch – Healthy Choice soup – Chicken Tortilla

I really love soup and should only be eating them and salads. But some days, like today, I just can’t get it together to have a coherent thought let alone try to maintain a diet. Still, I think I’m doing pretty well since previously I would have eaten the kitchen sink. LOL!

Dinner – Salad bar with balsamic dressing, lots of veggies

I went out to play pennies and one moment I’m not at all hungry and the next starving. What’s up with that? Some days I just don’t understand what’s going on with me.

Snacks – goldfish

Steps – 3421

Exercise – Not a lot of steps but not a lot of motivation. Again, I just don’t get it. I haven’t been able to exercise much this week nor lift weights like last week at home. Motivation is at a low right now and it could be a lot of things. Maybe EPIC, maybe writing or maybe just life.

Journal

First, I have to comment on the fact that I just can’t believe I’ve kept with this for 70 days. Other than writing and my family, I haven’t kept to anything for this long. Maybe this is a new leaf.

Yeah I know it’s a bad thing BUT I just couldn’t seem to get it together today at all. There are strange things happening to my body as well as the general apathy. One of the things is that again, I’m swelling up like a stuck pig EVEN though I am getting up and walking around at least 5 minutes every hour. I hate whatever is happening to me again because I have so much water in me I know I’m going to weigh at least 15 pounds more when I go to see Dr. G and it’s moments like these where I want to chuck it all in and just give up.

Then there’s the fact that I’m breaking out everywhere. My face, my arms, my back and some of those are places I never did as a teenager. I know menopause can really screw up a person but this is going to drive me crazy. I’ve always fluxed 10-15 pounds when my period would be. Maybe this is the PMS without the actual period. Again, another thing for Dr. G tomorrow.

And I can’t. I MUST get healthy. This isn’t an either or situation any more. This is a MUST. I am not getting younger and I personally, don’t want to die fat. I know thin is relative and I’ve never really said how thin is thin. Well, when I was talking to CR the other day, I came up with the magic range. I’d like to weight somewhere between 135-142 and while it seems an impossible goal right now, if I can just stay the course until this passes, I will be good to go for another few pounds. Sign. I will get through this, I will.

Hope this helps someone! It does me a little as now I can see how weird it all is. LOL!

Have a great day!

Lynn

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 - Day 69

Quote of the Day: Strong reasons make strong actions. – William Shakespeare

Breakfast – Shake as normal with strawberry probiotic and fresh strawberries.

I really enjoy the shake better when I add one of the small yogurt type things to it. I’ve used the Dannon and the Promise heart version. I have really notices a difference when I don’t use them. So I guess they are helping me in the long run.

Lunch – Chips & salsa, Chicken fajitas

I was so good when I went out to lunch with CR. She pointed out that the fajitas would be better and she was right. But just that gentle prodding put me on the right track but I fear it won’t matter later because I am already craving something I don’t know about yet. That’s why I went to Mexican food. Must have been nervous about us going to the Erotic Heritage Museum but it didn’t matter as all went well.

Dinner – Salad with chicken, almonds, veggies and Balsamic vinegrette dressing

This didn’t do it for me. I noticed that something was changing this evening. I’m getting that starved, caveman like attitude where I want to eat everything in sight because I won’t know where the next meal is coming from…if this is an instinctual carry over…I wish it could be gone. LOL! This isn’t fun at all!

Snacks – Handful of salt and pepper chips and I didn’t want those until 9p!

Steps – 4351

Exercise – Hopped on the treadmill like it was any other day. Of course, I didn’t really feel well at all and didn’t really want to BUT I had to do it! At least I’m getting the fact I have to do it no matter what! And my free days at Anytime Fitness are over and I’ve definitely decided to join! They were over yesterday BUT since I only went three times last week, it’s time I started the real deal. LOL! Still, I have to take it nice and slow otherwise, I won’t do it. That’s one of the reasons I’ve kept up with the walking at least 5 days a week. Otherwise, it would be a bust.

Journal

Things were really going well until I got home. Then I don’t know what happened. Yeah, I was having a situation BUT that kind doesn’t normally make me want to eat. It was like a switch was suddenly on and where it came from, I just don’t know at all. And it was soo bad, when I did go look for a snack there was nothing. So, I grabbed the DH and made him go with me to the grocery store. We got what we needed and came home. I had my chips and it satisfied the urge. Hope it carries through till tomorrow.

Yes, these times are troubling to me as well. But the important part is I’m truly trying to get a handle on them and figure them out so they aren’t an obstacle in the future.

What are you doing to help yourself? I hope everyone is doing something on their weight loss journey that helps!

Have a great day!

Lynn

Friday, January 2, 2009 - Day 57

Quote of the Day: All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire. – Aristotle

Breakfast – eggs at my Dad’s house in Idaho as it was the easiest.

This is a travel day and I hate travel days. No matter how good you try to be, it just can’t happen. Hopefully, we’ll have some place where I can work some of it off on the way home.

Lunch – 1 double cheeseburger, 1 small fry, 1 large ice tea

This was just a fast drive through as I really want to get home before it gets dark. And we just might as I made everyone get up at the crack of dawn. They were not happy with me at all! LOL! Don’t care, I don’t like the fact the trip has to be fast and I can’t really eat well. I really have to start packing my meals for these types of things.

Dinner – We’re actually home and we drove throw Jack-In-The-Box and I ordered my favorite salad, southwest. I had this with some good dressing.

I know that there are some great ways to get healthy fast food. Salad is always a good choice. I am exhausted BUT I really want to get away from the boys for a while. I think I’ll go and play some pennies.

Snacks – carrots, cheese

Steps – 4153

Exercise – Yeah, I really did get some because I had to walk the dog at the rest stop. This was good but there was snow and I had to be careful. Still, it made me get out and walk around for about 20 minutes. Who could as for more?

Journal

Okay, trips are the best of times and the worst of times. I love my boys but can’t stand being cooped up with them for so long. This is the reason I have to get away from them for a while EVERY time I am with them. They argue and fight about things. When I tell them to fight about something important, they get mad at me because they think it’s all important.

Still, we made it home fine and all in one piece. Not bad for a 700 mile trip.

Hope this helps some of you! Have a great day tomorrow!

Lynn

Thursday, January 1, 2009 - Day 56

Quote of the Day: Nothing’s better than the wind at your back, the sun in front of you and your friends beside you. – Aaron Douglas Trimble

Breakfast – 2 eggs, 2 toast @ 10:45 am

I just had to have something different for breakfast today instead of my shake. I got the new Prevention (Feb 2009) yesterday and I want to start following some of the things in there. It’s exactly the kind of things that Dr. G. is getting me to do anyway so I feel that I can follow it easily.

Lunch – 1 cup of nuts, raisins and dark chocolate M&Ms

I really didn’t feel hungry at all and just got something I knew was good for me. I’m getting ready to go with Kristi to Target to get the DVD player for the guys. It will be really good finally and they won’t have to be using my computer to watch movies.

Dinner – 2 breadsticks, 2 bowls salad w/ Italian dressing, 2 bowls Zuppa Tuscano, 3 cups of coffee and one glass water (Olive Garden with family)

Yes, I was really hungry but I tempered the whole thing. I only ate until I was full and I didn’t over eat. Some people ate again an hour later while I just had a glass of water. I know I should have eaten more at lunch and then I wouldn’t have had so much here but the truth of the matter is I am following what my body was telling me. I’m not going to eat if I’m not hungry. Period. I think it’s wrong and sends an incorrect signal to my body. I need to eat only when I’m hungry and no other time.

Snacks – None…I really didn’t need any. LOL!

Steps – 3171

Exercise – Only walking around shopping. Nothing structured. I can’t wait until I get home and join a gym. I’m going to start checking them out on Wednesday. I’ll be busy on Monday.

Journal

I think that today was a great day to start the New Year. I really do think it went well and I was totally attuned to my body. One bad thing did happen and I was really, really sad. When I went to Fashion Bug to look at clothes since they were having a sale, I really wanted to get some pants. I need them as my big butt doesn’t seem to fit into the ones I have any more. But my SIL told me I really needed to try them on even though they were in my size. I thought she was nuts but it was something I decided to do. And boy…was I in for a shock! The size I normally wore didn’t fit! They came close and were really, really tight but just one wash and they would be out the window. I guess I really didn’t realize just how big my butt had gotten! I AM NOT GOING TO GET A BIGGER SIZE. NOPE WON’T DO IT!

I guess it is time to really, really start focusing on the things I want for my body. And a larger size isn’t one of them. If this wasn’t a wakeup call, I don’t know what is! It made me feel mad and sad all at once. How could I let this happen to me? Well, I can say no more. I am going to get thin if it’s the last thing I do. And I’m going to do it right.

With that in mind, I have decided to make this journal public and take it on a blog like I said when I first started this journey. There are many people who are helping me with this journey and I’m hoping this will help someone else. So, if you’re seeing this on the blog, you know I followed through! LOL!

Hope you have a great day tomorrow!

Lynn