The Numbers Game

Yeah, I know...it’s been two weeks...and I’m sure you’re wondering if I’ve lost my motivation.


Well, I almost did. See, two weeks ago I woke up and knew, just knew deep in my heart that I hadn’t lost one iota. Nada, zilch, nothing. At least, that’s what my body told me and as I have a good habit of listening to my body, I was really down in the dumps.

So I got up and put off eating as long as I could. I always get on the scales the first thing out of bed and compensate for the clothes I wear before getting on that scale. Now, some people are fanatics and weigh every day. I would be a basket case if I did something like that so I just weigh in weekly on Mondays when I get up.

It’s worked well over the years as it can bring a much needed boost to a weight loss program. Or it can be the start of a downward spiral. I always figured it better to start at the beginning of the week until waiting till the weekend to screw it up. I mean, who wants to go into a weekend knowing they can’t eat one darn thing.

So last week, I hopped on the scale and surprise of all surprises, I lost 1.1 pounds. Obviously, I didn’t feel different and I only lost a quarter of an inch off my belly, so I had to think really hard just where it might have gone. All I could think of is that I am finally replacing some of my fat with muscle because out of all the things I didn’t do that week, the one thing I did do every day was walk.

Yeah, I haven’t been very good in keeping the food diary which is par for the course this time of year as is a slide back. But this time, I was determined to move forward even though the season says we shouldn’t. The one thing I have done is to totally listen to my body signals about hunger, exercise and if I hurt anywhere or not. In the past, I’ve let real and imagined transgressions get in my way. But not this time.

In all honesty, the only thing I didn’t do was write this blog but when I finally realized I hadn’t, it was already Friday.

Now, onto this week. This week I had two, count them, two parties. One was my writers’ group Christmas party and the other was my daughter-in-law’s birthday. Now the birthday, I had more control over as we were going to one of my favorite restaurants. Here, I always order exactly what I want and take 75% of it home as the portions are huge. It’s just way too much food but since this is my normal routine, it wasn’t a problem and I didn’t overeat at all.

The Christmas party was another matter. It was potluck and while the dishes are always wonderful, you really have no control over what type of food is brought. While the variety was great, all the dishes were rich and luscious meaning not very good for a diet. Since I wanted to taste everything, I took a spoonful which would allow me to have at least one bite of each dish. I took a little more of the chili since that was my husband’s and my dish and I know exactly what went into it. The other thing, I had no dessert since nothing appealed to me. I didn’t go back for seconds then but did have some more chili when I got home as each of my meals were skimpy during the course of the day.

One thing to remember during this season or any other for that matter, always eat until you’re full. No more, no less. If you can remember this one simple rule, it will serve you well over the course of your weight loss program. Me, I didn’t listen to my own rule and ate about 5-6 smaller meals that day. Normally, I eat my biggest meal in the middle of the day and a lighter one in the evening. This past Saturday, I am sure I consumed much more than I needed to consume but obviously not enough to tip the scale in a negative way.

But again, I walked more days than not and that served me well with the weight loss. I also removed another .75 inches off my waist. And this is the measurement which really has me jazzed because belly size is one of those things health professionals look at when evaluating you from a health perspective. So far, I have lost 10.6 pounds and 5 inches off my waist. Those are incredible numbers for anyone.

I know I don’t talk much about the tools I use to track this part of my journey. I track my food intake not only on line but with a hard copy book from The Calorie King (www.thecalorieking.com) called the Food and Exercise Diary. This little book is very comprehensive with columns for calories, in and out as well as for carbs and fat if you are tracking those as well. Calories out is your exercise and these do come right off the top. At the bottom of the page, you record your fluid intake, the total number of steps for the day as well as any thoughts.

The reason I like this book is because it works on so many levels. No matter what you’re tracking, what diet you’re on, this book can record it. It is also a convenient size to be able to carry any where you go. It has useful tips and hints in the beginning. But the biggest reason I love this book, it goes strictly by the numbers: calories in – calories out = weight loss/gain. And since I’m a numbers kinda gal, it makes perfect sense to me.

Dieting is basically a numbers game, no ifs ands or buts. It takes 3500 more to add a pound, it takes 3500 calories less to remove a pound. What could be more simple than that? You must burn more calories than you take in to lose any weight. To lose a pound a week, you must reduce your calorie intake 500 points OR you must burn off 500 calories that you take in.

It’s not rocket science and most people can do the simple math. When we get rid of all the emotional baggage associated with that weight, the numbers become numbers again. Whether we want to believe it or not, our fat insulates us from things that scare us. Now, I’ve slowly gained the weight over the years but it wasn’t until I wrote the column on body image, that I really looked at the point I started my weight gain.

I had a great body and I wasn’t ugly, so what was the deal? I think part of it was I knew my husband loved me and I knew other men looked at me. I think I equated other men with temptation and decided I’d remove myself from that equation all together. Basically, I didn’t trust me nor didn’t trust my reactions to life at the time.

And to be honest, the only time in my life where I’ve ever had emotional eating was the year my youngest was diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic. That year cost me another 40-50 pounds and I watched everyone of them go on and didn’t know how to stop it at all. I just kind retreated in my shell and ate everything he couldn’t any more. It was six months of stress before we found him a good doctor and before I started eating sanely again and food became food once again.

This is my last column before the holiday. May the season bring all the joys and none of the heartbreak to your weight loss journey. Have a great Christmas! Next week, I’ll talk more on the different tools I use as I’ve definitely got my motivation back. See you all then!


Lynn

Baby Steps

Today, I didn’t know what to expect stepping on the scale. I had been not so good about writing it all down this week and know this can become a huge problem for me. To further complicate the issue, it has turned horrendously cold here and with today’s rain, it’s going to hamper my exercise routine. I might actually have to go to the gym to do my walking on a treadmill.

Not that I don’t have my own treadmill, I just don’t want to set it up in the back room where the expensive bamboo flooring is located. We’ve already seen what can happen when kids jump around in chairs on it...imagine what a large woman on a treadmill can do..oiy vey! Yeah, I say that a lot and I’m not even Jewish. LOL!

But seriously I have trepidation today as I go ready to step on the scale. The first time I stepped on, it showed a .4 pound gain. I was devestated then I remembered that normally weigh with just a t-shirt on. So despite the cold, my husband keeps it a cool 66 in the winter, I shucked everything except my t-shirt and underwear. And I was so glad I did so as the weight loss was 1.1 pounds. Yippee! I had managed to keep going down despite my backsliding.

Then I had to do my waist measurement. For those of you who don’t realize it, your waist measurement can be more important than your overall weight because it is a strong predictor of cardiovascular disease. Just to be sure you understand I’m not pulling your leg or anything, here are a few links to some articles on the subject:

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/529324

http://www.righthealth.com/Health/Body%20Measurement-s?lid=goog-ads-sb-8536643334

http://health.msn.com/weight-loss/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100173487

http://www.cutthewaist.com/

Those articles are very useful when trying to figure out just where your waist needs to be in relation to your weight. In general, a woman’s waist needs to be less than 31.50 inches for you to be considered healthy. I’ve got about 15.5 inches to go which seems like a lot when you look at it but when you consider I have lost 4 inches in 5 weeks, it doesn’t seem an impossible task. Although, I will say from here on out, unless I put my nose to the grindstone, it will be harder to get weekly numbers.

As of today, I have also lost 5.9 pounds in the same amount of time. It’s certainly not the 25 I had wanted to lose my first five weeks, but a respectable pound a week. One of my friends told me I wouldn’t need to have any skin reduction surgery if I went slow and steady. She may be right but I sure wish it could be 2 pounds a week or more. How about 5 even, that would be fantasitc!

But it is the reason I titled this column baby steps. Sometimes it will take a large number of small, incremental changes to equal the big ones. If we don’t make those small changes and keep building on them, we will never move forward. And I've obviously got a good start since I'm still blogging, still thinking about it and still moving forward.

Yeah, I might not have kept my diet diary for a week but I can guarantee I thought about every bit of food which went into my mouth and realized I was starting to stray. What I did do weekly was take my weight and my waist measurement and record them in my diet diary. So first thing this morning, I pulled it out and wrote down my breakfast. Then I wrote down my lunch.

Yeah, Baby Steps.

See you all next week!


Lynn

A Great Monday

Okay, so I’m blogging on Tuesday. Shoot me already...LOL!

Yeah, I should have done it yesterday but after the writing binge and the fact we went away for the holiday, I just couldn’t sit in front of this machine any longer than I needed to do so. Once everything was done, I decided to just relax and promptly fell asleep on the couch.

Now, as far as weight loss, I had a wonderful weekend. Holidays are always so traumatic for most but this year I decided to temp it all with plenty of exercise. I also didn’t restrict myself from anything as we went to a posh buffet at my husband’s uncle’s golf club in San Francisco. When my daughter-in-law asked how much I though member ship was, I told her it was more than she wanted to think about. The look on her face was priceless as I don’t think until that moment she understood just how well off my husband’s family is. It took me many years to understand just which fork to use but eventually I got over it and started to enjoy myself.

And on that note, the food was fantastic. I loaded up on the greens and added a lot of veggies so I would be full before I went back for the main course. It works as I only had a little of the turkey, beef, small amount of the mash potatoes and more greens. I did save enough room for the tiniest sliver of pumpkin pie as for me it is a must at this holiday.

The way I compensated for this massive meal was I allowed, notice I say allowed, my husband and his family walk me to death before it happened. His parents walk 3-5 miles every day and I went with them on most of those walks this weekend. The only one I missed was the one in the pouring rain as it was a cool rain and I knew no shower would get the dampness out of my bones. Still, all those walks made up for eating more than normal, the drive through food eaten on the way up and back as well as the lack of exercise on travel days.

Was I rewarded for this diligent behavior this weekend? You bet I was! I lost 1.8 pounds and another .5 inches off my waist. It doesn’t get any better than that!

Hope you all have a great week! See you next one!

Lynn

Positive Small Changes

I am sitting here today wondering why I feel so horrible about what I did last week as far as my journey. I succeed in cutting another 50 calories a day off my totals as well as increase my daily steps. I also cut off another inch from my belly which is a big Yippee! for me.

Yet, the scale didn’t budge. Or at least, I don’t think it did. I just replaced the batteries in my old Weight Watcher one and decided to give it a try. And I hated the numbers. Hated it more than the fact I was allowing myself a handful of smarties a day because if I didn’t, the whole bag would be in my stomach by now. And that would do no one any good.

I need to revel in what I did do right, not wallow in the one thing that didn’t happen.

I did record all my food this week.

I did exercise every day except one.

I lifted weights three times this week.

I did reduce my waist by another inch.

I did reduce my average calorie intake by another 50 calories.

I did write this blog again even though I felt like I didn’t accomplish one thing.

When I list them all out like this, it makes me realize how silly it is for me being worried that the scale didn’t move this week. I’ll have lots of weeks where the scales won’t move and lots of weeks where I’m going to have to remind myself of all the positive things I have done.

It might be hard but I have to do this for myself. Forget about everything else, remember to do it for me.

Until next week.

Lynn

A Bad Case of Body Image

Okay, I’ve been fighting this battle of the bulge all my life and wondered just what was wrong with me, why I couldn’t lose weight. I had tried all sorts of methods, everything in the world to just get rid of enough of my excess weight to get to a point where I felt healthy, where I knew I wouldn’t keel over dead.

Now the keeling over dead can actually happen to you no matter how healthy you are, so I had to quickly knock that one off my list. See, I have a friend who is the healthiest person ever according to her lifestyle. She jogs two to three times a week, takes daily walks, swims, bikes, you name it in the area of exercise. And she eats right, always has by watching it and writing it down. It was her who reminded me the only time I had ever really lost weight was when I wrote it all down and exercised every day.

Then about four years ago, she had chest pain and went to the ER to find herself in a full blown heart attack. The next day she had open heart surgery and now she is almost back to where she was before the surgery. See, unbeknownst to her, her ancestors had heart disease so when her parents lived a healthy lifestyle and died in the eighties, she never thought it could hit her. But hit her it did with a sledgehammer.

So, I started looking at pictures and wondered just what type of body I really wanted. I thought if I could just some positive pictures in my mind of how I wanted to look, it would help me along this journey. It didn’t take me long to realize that I wanted a body similar to this:

Or this:

Why? Because in my mind, both these pictures represent what I thought was a positive body image. Both look healthy and trim and just a little bit sexy in my mind. In my books, I’m mainly thinking about women who look something like these pictures because I think they look good. And good is great where heroine are concerned.

Then just last week, I started looking at some old pictures of me that my husband had scanned in for my fiftieth birthday and my amazement of what I saw blindsided me. All my life I had thought I was a chubby fat girl even though I would tell everyone I was thin and I wore a size eleven. But the problem was even though I said these things, I didn’t believe them one little bit.

Now pictures don’t lie and as I flipped through the photos, I realized the body under the wedding dress looked just like the person’s body in picture number one. I saw that my legs and arms were just as skinny and firm as those I sought to use as my uplifting image. For more than a minute, I realized I had the body I wanted but like the old saying goes, I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. See for yourself:

Why do we beat ourselves up on how we look, only to realize years later if we could just get back there, things would be better? I don’t know but it is something I’m going to work on in the coming weeks as I go from overweight to healthy. Yeah, the old terms, even though they may be the truth, don’t motivate me in the least.

And this week. I am definitely motivated. So how well on my goals did I do you many as? Well, I did very well and this is good. I managed to lose another 3/4 inch off my waist, walk at least 30 minutes a day and reduce my calore intake by 100 calories this week. The only place I didn’t do so well on was on my total step count. I was down a lot of steps even though I increased my walking time. I think the problem is the fact I got a new pedometer and it’s not quite as attuned to me as it should be. Sometimes the sensitivity isn’t set correctly and I do believe this is the problem. After all...how many people actually reduce the number of steps while increasing their walking time? LOL! Not very many I’m sure.

See you all next week!

Lynn

Wiggly-Jiggly

Okay, the first day of writing down what I ate was more horrible than I could imagine for a variety of reasons. First, I had my first hormonal day in about six weeks. Now, I don’t know about you on those type of days but usually I get my butt kicked because I don’t eat like I normally eat. I tend to eat more and foods that aren’t so good for me. Things like candy and Taco Bell get into my diet on these days more than usual. And what started out as a wonderful day with a delightful breakfast of under two hundred and fifty (250) calories, turned out to be a battle from hell.

Second, I normally walk at least twenty minutes and because I was on hyper-speed from the sugar, I only got thirteen crappy minutes because I was practically jogging. Unheard of for me! LOL! But no, that wasn’t what got me this day at all. I can forgive myself one day as things happen our of our control and hormones are in that category. But this…this is almost unforgiveable…sigh.

Many times people asked me what I missed being thin and on this day, I was reminded of this more than any other part of my thin days. For whatever reason my wiggly-jiggly upper arms had my full attention on that first day of me writing down what I ate. Now, don’t ask me how I noticed this first because I can’t even tell you. All I know is I held up my arm and I noticed that the flesh around my elbow didn’t seem as tight as it had in the past. Holding up my arm a little higher, I noticed that I could get it to wiggle to and fro with very little effort. It reminded me of the song, ‘Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro.” God, the wiggly-jiggly time of my life had arrived.

I wanted to scream, I wanted to jump up and down. I wanted to have surgery to cut the offending flesh away and I wanted twenty years back when my arms were nice and firm and – and – mine. These things I don’t even know where they came from but they shouldn’t be anywhere near my body much less on it. Ugh…this did not make me feel well but only strengthened my reserve to stick with what I planned to do this time.

Add to this the fact I wanted to start everything right this time and this meant I needed to get a waist measurement as well as use my handy-dandy BMI and body fat machine to get an idea of where I stood. Now I won’t tell you those yet but maybe sometime in the future when it is far behind me but let’s suffice it to say that the machine told me my body fat was too high for it to measure. This is soooo not good. Sigh.

So…I had a horrible first day…how about the rest you ask?

Well, for such an auspicious start, surprisingly good. I actually walked everyday, lifted weights for my upper arms and recorded the good, the bad and the ugly in my food and exercise journal. And with all my faux pas, I managed to average just 1675 calories a day, walked at least 4273 steps per day, lost a couple of pounds and 1.25 inches in my waist.

Yeah, I’m on my way and feel great about it! LOL!

So the goals for next week are just an extension of this week and I’m not going to add anything new. What I would like to try and do is to subtract another 100-200 calories off my daily total while I increase my daily steps to at least 5000 steps. This will decrease my daily caloric average as well as increase my daily step average. My father-in-law the surgeon told me once I could lose weight as long as I ate three squares and walked my butt off. And he’s right. It is all a numbers game.

And this week I seemed to kick ass.

Until next week…


Lynn

Sticking To Just One

Alright, I told you all about my just one campaign, how I needed to change just one thing to get on my road to permanent weight loss? Well, I succeeded this week with my just one item which was walking every night. Notice I didn’t put a time on how much I had to walk, just that I had to do it.

Now, I’m lucky because my puppy forces me to go. So every night between 9 and 9:30, I get the DH and the puppy to walk around the block with me getting at least 15 minutes exercise which makes me feel invigorated. And I already can feel the pants being a little less tighter as well as other small incentives to keep going.

Next week, since this is almost a habit, I’m going to add another block which should add another 5 minutes to the routine. Also, I started to lift weights to help my arms during me sitting and watching TV. What better way to get my flabby arms tones? I get to feel the burn and watch my favorite shows! LOL!

Now, it’s time to choose my next item I want to change. And here I find myself tossing up two ideas at once. Do I want to write down all I eat? Or do I want to change how I look at breakfast? Well, I knew that one of my biggest problems was I had given up breakfast again up until about three weeks ago. Realizing this was one of my biggest errors in the weight lost regime, I had already started to add breakfast back into my life.

If I truly want to lose weight, I know I need to go back to the breakfast shake my naturopath had me on almost a year ago. The first couple of months, I had been on the weight loss kick when we realized that my allergy issue was overwhelming everything. So for about nine months, we concentrated on putting my allergies in a more manageable position. It worked as I haven’t had any real severe attacks for quite a while now.

So, in my eyes, we’re back to the weight loss track and I’m looking back on what seemed to work so well in that beginning. And one of those things was a breakfast shake made of skim milk, protein powder, flax seed and fresh fruit. Later I modified it to make it even better by adding orange juice instead of fresh fruit and ice making it more of a frappe than a shake. But the taste was more palatable and I looked forward to it daily.

The other item I did then was to journal everything I ate, not to point out what I had done wrong but to point out how to improve my weight loss chances. I found that journaling about life and what I ate made me very, very honest because I never knew who would pick up that journal to take a peek. I wrote down every bite and every drink. And no foods were really taboo except those we were trying to eliminate from the allergy mix. It ends up that I am not very allergic to any food but outside things, like cleaning chemicals.

So given these two choices for the one thing I wanted to change, I was in a quandary. Both were equally important to my overall goal but the real question was which one did I think I would stick to better this week. And this gave me pause to think for a few hours. But after much thought and consideration, I’ve decided to start writing down what I eat.

Now this can be very good for me as I see one of my issues is portion control. I eat all the right foods but sometimes I eat too much. And eating too much is what got me here in the first place. LOL!

See you next week when I give you a report on how well I’m doing with this aspect of my journey.

Until then…

Lynn

Updating My Story

I have a weight loss motivation problem right now and thought if I shared my story from the very beginning and what I'm doing to improve my lot, I would get the zing back.

When the phen-fen thing was going on, I found out I have a true imbalance of some kind as I was in their clinical trials of when the pharmaceutical companies put them together. With little effort, except 40 minutes of exercise daily, I lost 80 lbs in 6 months. They did weekly blood test and the meds actually changed my blood chemistry. They were going to do some more with some special testing, basically testing my brains uptake inhibitors and various other brain things to see why it worked for me, when everything was pulled from the market by FDA. I was one who never had a problem but the meds apparently fixed the chemical imbalance problem I was having. I still remember reading the doctor's book regarding it all and seeing myself in it on almost every page. As with any medication, I was able to keep that weight off for a period of almost two years when everything became very unbalanced again and I started to see my weight slowly go up. My regular GP tried to control things will anti-depressants which bombed miserably because it wasn't the right stuff and she has tried to tell me to this day it's all because of depression. I wish it were that easy. At that point, I mentally gave up and started eating what I wanted again and no exercise. When my youngest son turned diabetic I gained another 50-60 pounds due to stress. I had never gained weight in stressful situations and was shocked. When I realized just what I really weighted, as I'm at my highest weight ever, I knew things had to change. So I'm trying to change them just one thing at a time.

Food has never been my problem and frankly, I wish it had been. See, I eat all the good things just my portion control is out of whack sometimes and even with larger portions, I tend not to overeat. My problem has always been exercise. I hate and will do anything to avoid it if I can. Basically, I have just pared my calories back to about 1200, I watch the portions and carbs. And I only eat when I'm hungry again which has been a huge thing this past couple of years as trying to learn to live with a diabetic is interesting. In September, I got a puppy because our older dog, which was my DH's anyway, died and I knew if I had to walk the dog, I would get out and up. And bless his heart, the dog is relentless as he won't let me do anything without walking him at least once a day, most times two as well as actually playing with him and just moving around in general. This is very good.

I started to go to a naturopath to see what she could do for my menopause which was causing sleep issues. Then there was the part that there were some days I knew I was going crazy...LOL! Once we got those under control, she is helping me tackle the rest like allergies and weight loss. I finally seem to be on a regime with the allergies that is making life better all around. When allergy season starts, it used to be I would swell up like someone having an allergy attack. It would take months to get rid of the extra fluid and drive me nuts. Now it's only for a week max in spring and fall. Next we're going to tackle just why the phen-fen balanced all the brain chemistry and to see if anything will work naturally like the pharmaceuticals did. And overall, I think we're making a lot of progress.

And to be frank, my only problem with how things are going, is just how very slow it's all happening. So far, since September 6 when we got the puppy, I've probably lost around six pounds maybe a little more. I've got to start charting it to make sure. This is a decent weight lost but much too slow in my mind. When on the phen-fen regime, I lost a whooping 14 pounds a month without trying much at all in my opinion. So right now, my biggest issue is keeping motivated. I'm reading all I can regarding weight loss and motivation as well as talking to people like you to stay on top of it. Still, there are days I really want to chuck it all because my waist is too big, my arms are flabby and 17 yo diabetic son makes all the wrong comments in his quest to achieve this goal. And bless his heart, he's had to change everything about how he operates with the diabetes knowing that if he eats what he wants, he has to exercise his butt off with at least 1.5 hours of hard exercise for every fast food meal he has. Which he does but he doesn't get that saying to me various things just makes me sad and want to give up. He's so typically a young, unknowing male I frequently have to tell him to zip it.

Which is why I plan to stop here weekly and vent in a positive way. I know there are many authors, readers and just general people who struggle with weight daily. I'm hoping if we all support each other, we can get it off and keep it off!

Lynn

Thursday, January 15, 2009 - Day 70

Quote of the Day: Actions lie louder than words. – Carolyn Wells

Breakfast – breakfast burrito

I know it isn’t what I should be eating BUT I needed something really fast today. I couldn’t think of anything better. It was egg, cheese and a flour tort.

Lunch – Healthy Choice soup – Chicken Tortilla

I really love soup and should only be eating them and salads. But some days, like today, I just can’t get it together to have a coherent thought let alone try to maintain a diet. Still, I think I’m doing pretty well since previously I would have eaten the kitchen sink. LOL!

Dinner – Salad bar with balsamic dressing, lots of veggies

I went out to play pennies and one moment I’m not at all hungry and the next starving. What’s up with that? Some days I just don’t understand what’s going on with me.

Snacks – goldfish

Steps – 3421

Exercise – Not a lot of steps but not a lot of motivation. Again, I just don’t get it. I haven’t been able to exercise much this week nor lift weights like last week at home. Motivation is at a low right now and it could be a lot of things. Maybe EPIC, maybe writing or maybe just life.

Journal

First, I have to comment on the fact that I just can’t believe I’ve kept with this for 70 days. Other than writing and my family, I haven’t kept to anything for this long. Maybe this is a new leaf.

Yeah I know it’s a bad thing BUT I just couldn’t seem to get it together today at all. There are strange things happening to my body as well as the general apathy. One of the things is that again, I’m swelling up like a stuck pig EVEN though I am getting up and walking around at least 5 minutes every hour. I hate whatever is happening to me again because I have so much water in me I know I’m going to weigh at least 15 pounds more when I go to see Dr. G and it’s moments like these where I want to chuck it all in and just give up.

Then there’s the fact that I’m breaking out everywhere. My face, my arms, my back and some of those are places I never did as a teenager. I know menopause can really screw up a person but this is going to drive me crazy. I’ve always fluxed 10-15 pounds when my period would be. Maybe this is the PMS without the actual period. Again, another thing for Dr. G tomorrow.

And I can’t. I MUST get healthy. This isn’t an either or situation any more. This is a MUST. I am not getting younger and I personally, don’t want to die fat. I know thin is relative and I’ve never really said how thin is thin. Well, when I was talking to CR the other day, I came up with the magic range. I’d like to weight somewhere between 135-142 and while it seems an impossible goal right now, if I can just stay the course until this passes, I will be good to go for another few pounds. Sign. I will get through this, I will.

Hope this helps someone! It does me a little as now I can see how weird it all is. LOL!

Have a great day!

Lynn

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 - Day 69

Quote of the Day: Strong reasons make strong actions. – William Shakespeare

Breakfast – Shake as normal with strawberry probiotic and fresh strawberries.

I really enjoy the shake better when I add one of the small yogurt type things to it. I’ve used the Dannon and the Promise heart version. I have really notices a difference when I don’t use them. So I guess they are helping me in the long run.

Lunch – Chips & salsa, Chicken fajitas

I was so good when I went out to lunch with CR. She pointed out that the fajitas would be better and she was right. But just that gentle prodding put me on the right track but I fear it won’t matter later because I am already craving something I don’t know about yet. That’s why I went to Mexican food. Must have been nervous about us going to the Erotic Heritage Museum but it didn’t matter as all went well.

Dinner – Salad with chicken, almonds, veggies and Balsamic vinegrette dressing

This didn’t do it for me. I noticed that something was changing this evening. I’m getting that starved, caveman like attitude where I want to eat everything in sight because I won’t know where the next meal is coming from…if this is an instinctual carry over…I wish it could be gone. LOL! This isn’t fun at all!

Snacks – Handful of salt and pepper chips and I didn’t want those until 9p!

Steps – 4351

Exercise – Hopped on the treadmill like it was any other day. Of course, I didn’t really feel well at all and didn’t really want to BUT I had to do it! At least I’m getting the fact I have to do it no matter what! And my free days at Anytime Fitness are over and I’ve definitely decided to join! They were over yesterday BUT since I only went three times last week, it’s time I started the real deal. LOL! Still, I have to take it nice and slow otherwise, I won’t do it. That’s one of the reasons I’ve kept up with the walking at least 5 days a week. Otherwise, it would be a bust.

Journal

Things were really going well until I got home. Then I don’t know what happened. Yeah, I was having a situation BUT that kind doesn’t normally make me want to eat. It was like a switch was suddenly on and where it came from, I just don’t know at all. And it was soo bad, when I did go look for a snack there was nothing. So, I grabbed the DH and made him go with me to the grocery store. We got what we needed and came home. I had my chips and it satisfied the urge. Hope it carries through till tomorrow.

Yes, these times are troubling to me as well. But the important part is I’m truly trying to get a handle on them and figure them out so they aren’t an obstacle in the future.

What are you doing to help yourself? I hope everyone is doing something on their weight loss journey that helps!

Have a great day!

Lynn

Friday, January 2, 2009 - Day 57

Quote of the Day: All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire. – Aristotle

Breakfast – eggs at my Dad’s house in Idaho as it was the easiest.

This is a travel day and I hate travel days. No matter how good you try to be, it just can’t happen. Hopefully, we’ll have some place where I can work some of it off on the way home.

Lunch – 1 double cheeseburger, 1 small fry, 1 large ice tea

This was just a fast drive through as I really want to get home before it gets dark. And we just might as I made everyone get up at the crack of dawn. They were not happy with me at all! LOL! Don’t care, I don’t like the fact the trip has to be fast and I can’t really eat well. I really have to start packing my meals for these types of things.

Dinner – We’re actually home and we drove throw Jack-In-The-Box and I ordered my favorite salad, southwest. I had this with some good dressing.

I know that there are some great ways to get healthy fast food. Salad is always a good choice. I am exhausted BUT I really want to get away from the boys for a while. I think I’ll go and play some pennies.

Snacks – carrots, cheese

Steps – 4153

Exercise – Yeah, I really did get some because I had to walk the dog at the rest stop. This was good but there was snow and I had to be careful. Still, it made me get out and walk around for about 20 minutes. Who could as for more?

Journal

Okay, trips are the best of times and the worst of times. I love my boys but can’t stand being cooped up with them for so long. This is the reason I have to get away from them for a while EVERY time I am with them. They argue and fight about things. When I tell them to fight about something important, they get mad at me because they think it’s all important.

Still, we made it home fine and all in one piece. Not bad for a 700 mile trip.

Hope this helps some of you! Have a great day tomorrow!

Lynn

Thursday, January 1, 2009 - Day 56

Quote of the Day: Nothing’s better than the wind at your back, the sun in front of you and your friends beside you. – Aaron Douglas Trimble

Breakfast – 2 eggs, 2 toast @ 10:45 am

I just had to have something different for breakfast today instead of my shake. I got the new Prevention (Feb 2009) yesterday and I want to start following some of the things in there. It’s exactly the kind of things that Dr. G. is getting me to do anyway so I feel that I can follow it easily.

Lunch – 1 cup of nuts, raisins and dark chocolate M&Ms

I really didn’t feel hungry at all and just got something I knew was good for me. I’m getting ready to go with Kristi to Target to get the DVD player for the guys. It will be really good finally and they won’t have to be using my computer to watch movies.

Dinner – 2 breadsticks, 2 bowls salad w/ Italian dressing, 2 bowls Zuppa Tuscano, 3 cups of coffee and one glass water (Olive Garden with family)

Yes, I was really hungry but I tempered the whole thing. I only ate until I was full and I didn’t over eat. Some people ate again an hour later while I just had a glass of water. I know I should have eaten more at lunch and then I wouldn’t have had so much here but the truth of the matter is I am following what my body was telling me. I’m not going to eat if I’m not hungry. Period. I think it’s wrong and sends an incorrect signal to my body. I need to eat only when I’m hungry and no other time.

Snacks – None…I really didn’t need any. LOL!

Steps – 3171

Exercise – Only walking around shopping. Nothing structured. I can’t wait until I get home and join a gym. I’m going to start checking them out on Wednesday. I’ll be busy on Monday.

Journal

I think that today was a great day to start the New Year. I really do think it went well and I was totally attuned to my body. One bad thing did happen and I was really, really sad. When I went to Fashion Bug to look at clothes since they were having a sale, I really wanted to get some pants. I need them as my big butt doesn’t seem to fit into the ones I have any more. But my SIL told me I really needed to try them on even though they were in my size. I thought she was nuts but it was something I decided to do. And boy…was I in for a shock! The size I normally wore didn’t fit! They came close and were really, really tight but just one wash and they would be out the window. I guess I really didn’t realize just how big my butt had gotten! I AM NOT GOING TO GET A BIGGER SIZE. NOPE WON’T DO IT!

I guess it is time to really, really start focusing on the things I want for my body. And a larger size isn’t one of them. If this wasn’t a wakeup call, I don’t know what is! It made me feel mad and sad all at once. How could I let this happen to me? Well, I can say no more. I am going to get thin if it’s the last thing I do. And I’m going to do it right.

With that in mind, I have decided to make this journal public and take it on a blog like I said when I first started this journey. There are many people who are helping me with this journey and I’m hoping this will help someone else. So, if you’re seeing this on the blog, you know I followed through! LOL!

Hope you have a great day tomorrow!

Lynn